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Whatcha whatcha whatcha want?

Remember when I thought I would be going to law school this fall?

That was awesome.

I started my new job this week, which is why I haven't been posting in the mornings--at my old position, I knew when I had the time for it. Now even though I'm starting over in a way it's like I'm just continuing a downward spiral into career stasis. A coworker is starting med school this fall (which many people at my office are in medical school, which makes sense, because it's a medical company and so a smart person would only work there if he desired a medical career) and we've been talking about the difference in the application processes for graduate programs. She asked, if I wasn't going to law school this fall, and if I wasn't going to reapply next year, what exactly I was planning to do.

"Well, not this," I said, and she laughed. But I don't know what else I will do. "I had time to reconsider and now I'm not sure that I really want to go to law school."

"I bet you would feel differently if you had been accepted," she said.

And it's true, I told her that I probably would have gone to law school and been satisfied and made a career out of it. Even with this time to think it over I am no closer to coming up with an alternative course of action. Now I'm in a funk and feeling stuck and miserable. It was nice to at least have a plan.


Dave! said...

Or you would have gone... and stuck it out because, well, you got in, right? And then started in a career and realized your heart wasn't in it... but you had all this debt. And then you would be like 80% of the lawyers out there who really want to be writers or musicians but feel trapped because of the choices they made when they didn't know better.

Or not.

The grass is always greener...

stag said...

I've totally been there- in a rut. And it totally sucks, but things will come together. There's something coming up, whether it's a job or an idea or an opportunity or whatever, and you just have to jump on it when it does. Hang in there.