SUI GENERIS punk rock bike shop home-brew art/craft love

In a time trap

The upcoming and still imaginary Craftstravaganza is beginning to invade my dreams, and at the same time I started thinking about law school again. I'm caught between the allure of the future and the tug of the past. What brought up law school all of a sudden? J asked if I was going to sell the Black's Law Dictionary that my parents gave me last Christmas. I suppose I ought to.

But I'm so frustrated by my career that I got to thinking maybe law school is the way to go, after all... I've been down this road before! I still don't know what I want out of my future, and that makes it impossible to give up the things I wanted in the past. Maybe they will turn out to be right for me in the end, so how can I let them go?

Then there are things that I thought I wanted in the past. Now I have them and I don't know what to do about them any more. The old feelings are gone but the things themselves are harder to shake off than the things in my past. Not even I know what I'm saying anymore. It's all so stupid. I'm gonna drink beer, ride bike, and everything will turn out alright.

4 comments:

kristine said...

If you want to be a lawyer, go to law school. Look, you've done the research. You know what it means. If you have questions, let me know, because it does seem mystical before you start and get some grades. It's not a three-year torture sentence, particularly if you find the material interesting. But if you think law school is the answer to your (undirected) professional urge, it's probably not for you.

John said...

Hey, life is short. If you choose to be a lawyer, then do it! It'll work out it's own set of rules and events. Maybe it would help to talk to other people who have gone through the same things you have gone through and reached the goal you dream about. Is it worth it? Well, that depends on how we use it. What is worth it to us? It's all occupation of time, in the limited time we are given in this life. If it's important to who you are, then go for it and don't give up. If not, then find something that is important to who you are and helps you make a difference in this life.

drvono said...

I agree with kristine and john - if it's something that's important to you, then do it. If it's something that you would be sad if you didn't do, then do it. I do recall, when all was said and not done, you saying that you questioned why you had wanted to do it in the first place. I'm not sure if you ever answered yourself, but again, if it's not because you love law, well...

sui generis said...

Yeah, I'm pretty much not going to law school. It's just I suddenly went from being 100% sure about that decision to 99.9% sure, and I thought, "where did that come from?"

It's gone back to 101% now.