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Top 10 TV/movie celebrities

Earlier this year, I learned that I am supposed to have an opinion on relative attractiveness amongst our beloved stars of television and cinema. Being the insightful fellow that I am, I gave some serious thought to the matter in order to form an educated opinion. Now, without further ado, I present the list of my:

Top 5 hottest actresses

5. Jewel Staite. I read somewhere that Ms. Staite had to gain about 20 pounds for her role as ship's mechanic Kaylee Frye on the short-lived sci-fi series Firefly. She's Canadian.

4. Uma Thurman. Everyone loves Uma in Kill Bill, but I prefer her with the black wig in Pulp Fiction. This should not be surprising after you consider my other selections.

3. Charlize Theron. Shown here in her role as Æon Flux in the movie of the same name, which I have never seen. I guess it wasn't very good? She's another blonde-turned-brunette for the sake of the part.

2. Kat Von D. Is Kat Von D really an actress? I don't know. She was on my favorite tattoo-related TV series and so she counts. Apparently she left that one and opened her own tattoo shop in LA, with a brand-new corresponding reality show on TLC. I really need to get cable one of these days.

1. Pauley Perrette. I started watching NCIS as a guilty pleasure, but now I can't help coming back for more. How come? "Goth" Forensics Specialist Abby Sciuto. She's cute as a button, and she doesn't just play a forensic scientist on TV--she also has a Master's Degree in Criminology. That's hot.

Top 5 handsomest actors (a.k.a. "man crushes")

5. Bruce Willis. He's been in so many great roles, it's hard to pick a favorite. I chose a still shot from The Whole Nine Yards because he's a a mobster in this movie, and that's awesome. I also could have gone with The Fifth Element, in which he plays an ex-military cab driver in the future.

4. Sir Ian McKellen. Okay, the dude was Magneto and Gandalf. He rocks so hard, that he was knighted by Queen Elizabeth in 1990 in anticipation of these seminal roles. Also he does some theatre acting. He's a vegetarian.

3. Jean Reno. During my exhaustive research in the course of compiling this list, I learned that Jean Reno was in the horrible American bastardization of Godzilla. To me, he will always be Léon, the Professional. (Yes, this photo is actually from Ronin, because he looks badass.)

2. Patrick Stewart. The original man crush from my impressionable boyhood days watching Star Trek: The Next Generation. And nobody could do a better Professor Charles Xavier than him. Permission to name you number two on my list? "Make it so!"

1. Hugh Laurie. When he talks like normal, he's just a very witty Englishman. Throw in the scathing American accent, unshaved face, and bitchin' cane, and Hugh transforms into the oh-so-dreamy Dr. House. I'd like to take a ride on his motorcycle. Oh no, I've said too much!

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